Continuing our mini-series on “Superpowers“
Who’s the leader you’ve worked for that you most admire?
Story
A senior leader told her team in a workshop: “Leadership, to me, is like acting a role in a play. I leave who I really am at home, then come to work and put on the mask my team needs me to wear.”
There was agreement around the table. This idea resonated with the others regardless of gender. They all felt that same way. And more importantly, they felt this was the best way to be a leader.
Our coach had noticed this in her individual interactions with the leaders as well. They each expressed feeling they had to be cautious about how they presented themselves at work.
Until that workshop, they didn’t even know the others felt the same way.
Adaptive Leadership vs. Masked Leadership
Our whole company is built on the idea that leaders need to be more adaptive. We work tirelessly with individuals and teams to break out of their normal “default” mode of operating to reach new heights and achievements.
So what’s so different about being “adaptable” versus “putting on the mask my team needs me to wear?” Isn’t the mask just a form of adaptability? Doesn’t it show remarkable flexibility and versatility that the leader can do that?
No, actually.
Masked leadership (where you’re pretending to be someone you’re actually not) is really a form of “inauthentic leadership.” And while the costs may not be immediately apparent, there are serious downsides to making the choice to wear a “mask” at work.
The Cost of Inauthenticity
Kegan and Lahey noticed that most people at work are doing two jobs: the one their paid to do + managing how they appear to other people at work.
“There is no greater waste of resources in ordinary organizations than the energy spent to hide our weaknesses and manage others’ favorable impressions of us.”
Robert Kegan & Lisa Lahey. An Everyone Culture: Becoming a Deliberately Developmental Organization
Imagine if half your workload were taken away so you could focus more on the other half. Would you want to spend more time on the job you’re paid to do or the job of managing appearances? Most people don’t enjoy the mask management.
Besides the cost to your own productivity, inauthentic leaders cost the organization in the following ways:
- Damaged (or shallow) trust between colleagues →people can tell there’s a “mask”
- Lower psychological safety → worse employee retention
- Limited communication →ideas left “on the table”
- Reduced authority → harder to hold people accountable
That last one is so counterintuitive! Many people wear a mask to increase authority. But the opposite often results. People just have an intuitive sense of who’s being authentic and who’s not.
And there’s one more, even more subtle:
- Implied rule: “to work here, you can’t bring your real self.”
The most powerful leading is done through leading by example. If everyone sees the boss as inauthentic, that will perpetuate a vicious cycle of everyone else following suit.
Authenticity as a Superpower
Remember your favorite leader to work for? Did you get the sense they were wearing a mask at work? Probably not. You probably thought you got to know the “real” person.
And here’s the key: you can almost certainly list some of their weaknesses, failures, or flaws.
That’s the litmus test for discovering an authentic leader: are the leader’s problems and failures part of what people love about working with them?*
*Note: people who have character issues or are in the wrong job are a different situation. We’re not talking about them today. For example, someone who feels the “real me” needs to swear at everyone all the time might want to focus on improving something besides authenticity first.
Why is being an authentic leader a superpower to add to your superpower toolbox?
Simply put: it’s rare.
If everyone could fly, Superman wouldn’t be that super.
It’s not rare to meet flawed people, but people who can really be themselves at work and not spend a huge amount of time and energy to hide their weaknesses seems pretty special.
How to be More Authentic at Work?
While there’s no quick fix, the basic idea is to challenge assumptions as you “test the waters” at your workplace to see if a more authentic version of you will be welcome.
For example, here’s assumption you might have that deserves a bit of testing:
- If I show my “true” self at work, my team will reject me.
Other assumptions you might have are:
- If I show up as a “masked” version of myself, I will get better results than the “authentic” me.
- If I want to be more “authentic,” that is a selfish goal that will negatively impact my team.
- If I show my true self at work, I’ll lose _____ (you fill in the blank)
These are all variations on the theme: being authentic is worse than wearing a mask.
That may be true some of the time. But is it always true? In every way? Probably not.
This takes discernment and careful planning, and probably feels a little bit scary. But just think of the payoff if you could reduce your dealing with “masks” even by 20%!
What ever happened…
Remember that team who were afraid to be authentic at work? They actually started with each other, in that workshop. They took the first step to being more authentic by admitting they were spending a lot of energy on “mask management.” That’s already a step in lowering the mask: admitting there is one!
After that, they were able to strategize about who outside the senior leadership team they wanted to be more authentic with. They chose carefully.
However, the real key to making progress was for them to specifically name the fears about the results of being authentic. Then they could work to mitigate those possible negative outcomes (some of which were extremely likely to occur without this strategic step).
The result is: leaders who are more relaxed, make better decisions, and have better rapport with their staff.
But they’re still working on it. Just like all of us.
Next Steps?
Does becoming a more authentic leader sound exciting (and maybe scary) to you?
Book a free 20-minute call with one of our coaches to discuss how we can support you at making your next big breakthrough (even if it feels impossible right now).
Looking forward to talking to you soon!
